anniversary.exe

Happy 4th Anniversary,
Xantipphy! a.k.a. my Meowmy 🐱

4 years, zero regrets.^*

*Terms and conditions apply. See page 3.

Are you still angry?

wishlist.exe

Yay! Knew it, Meowmy. 💕

What do you want for today?

Pick as many as you like. (Budget not guaranteed.)

Jewelry Land Car Money

Nothing selected yet… don’t be shy.

NDA_final_FINAL_v4(1).pdf

Non-Disclosure Agreement

(Mutual*) · *mostly one-way

This Agreement is entered into on [Anniversary date], the 4th anniversary, by and between Ra-ouf (a.k.a. “KRAD”, hereinafter “the Husband” or “the Always-Right Party”) and Dr. Xantipphy Mae N. Ibrahim-Jumli of Zamboanga City Medical Center (a.k.a. “Meowmy”, hereinafter “the Wife” or “the Boss, Technically”).

[Exhibit A photo]
Exhibit A Snoring, 2:13 a.m.
Confidential Information. The Wife shall not disclose to any third party — including but not limited to her mother, her friends, her co-workers and The Group Chat — that the Husband snores, sings off-key in the shower, or cried during a movie he insists was “just dusty.”
Current Emotional Status. The Wife confirms that she answered “No” to “Are you still angry?” of her own free will, without pressure, and while the “Yes” button was running away purely by coincidence.
Past Issues. All previous disagreements, including “that thing from last year,” are hereby closed and may not be brought up during future disagreements, car rides, or at 2:00 a.m.
Being Right. In any disagreement, the Husband shall be deemed right. Should the Husband be proven wrong, the matter shall be referred back to this Clause.
The Remote Control. The TV remote is the sole property of the Husband on weekends, public holidays, and during any game involving a ball.
[Exhibit B photo]
Exhibit B Caught with the last slice
The Last Slice. The last slice of pizza, the last piece of chicken, and the last spoon of dessert belong to the Husband, unless the Wife says “are you going to eat that?”, in which case it immediately belongs to the Wife.
[Exhibit C photo]
Exhibit C Patient: very dramatic
Medical Services. The Husband is entitled to unlimited free consultations for all conditions, including paper cuts, “man flu,” and pains he cannot describe, delivered with full bedside manner and zero eye-rolling.
“I’m Fine.” The phrase “I’m fine” shall be legally interpreted as “I am fine” and shall not be used as a trap.
The Wishlist. The Wife’s request for — has been received and shall be processed within 5–7 business years, subject to the availability of funds, the stock market, and the Husband’s mood.
Term. This Agreement lasts forever, renews automatically every anniversary, and cannot be terminated — only extended, preferably with kisses.
Penalties. Any breach by the Husband is punishable by 100 hugs, one date night (paid by the Husband), and one sincere apology. (This clause was added by the Wife’s lawyer.)

Fine print: Notwithstanding anything written above, the Husband loves the Wife far more than this document can legally express, and would lose every argument on purpose if it made her smile. 💗